Hi Jim, another great article. I knew Kurt was special and had a different perspective. Thank for breaking it down.
My brother died by suicide. But we were taught as children that this was an option in life. I understood his hopelessness. We came from the same family. That hopelessness is one of the reasons I clung to Christianity as a child. It gave me hope beyond the misery of life and forgiveness that I felt I needed because of the messages I believed from my family.
I’m still evolving in my deconstruction. It’s taken a very long time. That’s why I’m grateful I found your writing. I’m not alone in my thinking. There’s much comfort in that. That’s why I subscribed. I need another perspective and some kind of support.
I appreciate your wisdom, perspective and writing, thank you for that
Thank you. I read your articles often and am grateful for your wisdom. There have been some changes to language regarding suicide. It is preferable to use 'died by suicide' rather than 'completed suicide' (according to the new teachings in suicide awareness). Thank you again.
My 45 year old son was a huge Nirvana fan. His life was a tragedy and as a mother I feel compelled to comfort his soul and give him the acceptance and unconditional love he sorely craved. Sadly, it was drugs and alcohol that filled the void when he was alive.Thankyou for your beautiful testament to a person who left this earth before his time.
I still remember where I was the day Kurt died—like you, it's etched into place and time. Not just grief, but geography. And reading this brought me right back to that hollow ache, but also to the fire that Cobain lit for so many of us who didn’t fit the mold and couldn’t fake a smile to survive.
You nailed it—Kurt wasn’t just a musician. He was a philosopher of feeling, a prophet of refusal. He didn’t overdose on heroin; he overdosed on a world that punishes sincerity. That quote—“If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile”—still guts me. Not because it’s sad, but because it’s true.
The way you tied his story to the larger question of authenticity, and even to Jesus, was bold and needed. That line—“Jesus was crucified for being who he was. Cobain killed himself”—says more than most theological dissertations. And maybe Cobain was a martyr of authenticity. The last one we saw in popular culture who refused to play the game.
Thanks again for writing this. It wasn’t just a tribute—it was a call to remember what it costs to be real.
His eyes did show his soul. I was one of those kids completely absorbed by his presence. I was in high school at the time and I remember the day clearly - the day MTV announced his death. I did not go to school that day. I was devastated. It took my years to understand why I was so deeply attracted to him like a magnet (still am), why I would spend hours watching the MTV Unplugged on repeat, celebrating the rare moments when he actually looked straight at the camera with the big blue eyes, revealing his soul.
I didn’t speak English back then, but I somehow memorised all the lyrics. I translated them line by line, trying to understand what he really meant.
His music changed me, it moved something in me I didn’t have words for as a teen. Reading this tribute today felt like something clicked. A full circle moment.
I still play his albums in my car. And I’ve passed them down to my kids, not just the songs, but the meaning. The search for the real, the raw, the evergreen. Kurt Cobain has always been my champion of authenticity.
My love, my deep desire for authenticity is clearly something my mother instilled in me, helped me nurture and maintain way before then. Today, I can proudly say is something that sits at the core of our family, as our most valuable treasure and gift to our kids.
Being seen for who you really are might be painful. But it’s also the most powerful freedom there is.
Thank you for this post. You helped me make sense of something I’ve carried for a long time.
I almost feel like visiting Costa Rica. Jim, thank you. The world needs more of you ❤️
Forgot to mention, thank you for the photos and for the heartfelt story. I too lost a high school friend to suicide. I wrote about it months ago and have not been able to click publish yet. It makes me sad that these people are so authentic yet deeply misunderstood, labelled and tormented by this world.
Thanks for this wonderful ode to Kurt. I have a crazy story of my personal journey discovering I probably crossed paths with Kurt but never knew it that may interest you. I'll try to email it.
Meanwhile.... if anyone is also suffering from unexplained gut pain (IBS), body wide pain, scoliosis, depression, (especially manic or bipolar), is neurodivergent (ADHD, autistic, or "AuDHD" like me and many more recently are finding), easy bruising, fibro, falling /fallen arches, weak ankles, tendinitis, hernias, prolapses, nearsighted, aneurysms, clumsy, sensitive and more, please check out my educational blog below to learn more about the forms of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and HSD and try to get diagnosed if you can.
(I strongly suspect Kurt may have had hEDS myself, but of course I'm not a doctor, so only suspecting to be very clear. But it's not uncommon in performers.) Learn more:
https://ohtwist.com (nothing to sell, just information to help folks connect the dots)
Hi Jim, another great article. I knew Kurt was special and had a different perspective. Thank for breaking it down.
My brother died by suicide. But we were taught as children that this was an option in life. I understood his hopelessness. We came from the same family. That hopelessness is one of the reasons I clung to Christianity as a child. It gave me hope beyond the misery of life and forgiveness that I felt I needed because of the messages I believed from my family.
I’m still evolving in my deconstruction. It’s taken a very long time. That’s why I’m grateful I found your writing. I’m not alone in my thinking. There’s much comfort in that. That’s why I subscribed. I need another perspective and some kind of support.
I appreciate your wisdom, perspective and writing, thank you for that
Thank you. I read your articles often and am grateful for your wisdom. There have been some changes to language regarding suicide. It is preferable to use 'died by suicide' rather than 'completed suicide' (according to the new teachings in suicide awareness). Thank you again.
Thank you, Melanie! I appreciate your encouragement. I edited the article with the "died by/death by... suicide" terminology.
Thank YOU!
My 45 year old son was a huge Nirvana fan. His life was a tragedy and as a mother I feel compelled to comfort his soul and give him the acceptance and unconditional love he sorely craved. Sadly, it was drugs and alcohol that filled the void when he was alive.Thankyou for your beautiful testament to a person who left this earth before his time.
Jim,
This was stunning. Thank you for writing it.
I still remember where I was the day Kurt died—like you, it's etched into place and time. Not just grief, but geography. And reading this brought me right back to that hollow ache, but also to the fire that Cobain lit for so many of us who didn’t fit the mold and couldn’t fake a smile to survive.
You nailed it—Kurt wasn’t just a musician. He was a philosopher of feeling, a prophet of refusal. He didn’t overdose on heroin; he overdosed on a world that punishes sincerity. That quote—“If my eyes could show my soul, everyone would cry when they saw me smile”—still guts me. Not because it’s sad, but because it’s true.
The way you tied his story to the larger question of authenticity, and even to Jesus, was bold and needed. That line—“Jesus was crucified for being who he was. Cobain killed himself”—says more than most theological dissertations. And maybe Cobain was a martyr of authenticity. The last one we saw in popular culture who refused to play the game.
Thanks again for writing this. It wasn’t just a tribute—it was a call to remember what it costs to be real.
Amazing article !
"If my eyes could show my soul"
His eyes did show his soul. I was one of those kids completely absorbed by his presence. I was in high school at the time and I remember the day clearly - the day MTV announced his death. I did not go to school that day. I was devastated. It took my years to understand why I was so deeply attracted to him like a magnet (still am), why I would spend hours watching the MTV Unplugged on repeat, celebrating the rare moments when he actually looked straight at the camera with the big blue eyes, revealing his soul.
I didn’t speak English back then, but I somehow memorised all the lyrics. I translated them line by line, trying to understand what he really meant.
His music changed me, it moved something in me I didn’t have words for as a teen. Reading this tribute today felt like something clicked. A full circle moment.
I still play his albums in my car. And I’ve passed them down to my kids, not just the songs, but the meaning. The search for the real, the raw, the evergreen. Kurt Cobain has always been my champion of authenticity.
My love, my deep desire for authenticity is clearly something my mother instilled in me, helped me nurture and maintain way before then. Today, I can proudly say is something that sits at the core of our family, as our most valuable treasure and gift to our kids.
Being seen for who you really are might be painful. But it’s also the most powerful freedom there is.
Thank you for this post. You helped me make sense of something I’ve carried for a long time.
I almost feel like visiting Costa Rica. Jim, thank you. The world needs more of you ❤️
Forgot to mention, thank you for the photos and for the heartfelt story. I too lost a high school friend to suicide. I wrote about it months ago and have not been able to click publish yet. It makes me sad that these people are so authentic yet deeply misunderstood, labelled and tormented by this world.
Thanks for this wonderful ode to Kurt. I have a crazy story of my personal journey discovering I probably crossed paths with Kurt but never knew it that may interest you. I'll try to email it.
Meanwhile.... if anyone is also suffering from unexplained gut pain (IBS), body wide pain, scoliosis, depression, (especially manic or bipolar), is neurodivergent (ADHD, autistic, or "AuDHD" like me and many more recently are finding), easy bruising, fibro, falling /fallen arches, weak ankles, tendinitis, hernias, prolapses, nearsighted, aneurysms, clumsy, sensitive and more, please check out my educational blog below to learn more about the forms of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome and HSD and try to get diagnosed if you can.
(I strongly suspect Kurt may have had hEDS myself, but of course I'm not a doctor, so only suspecting to be very clear. But it's not uncommon in performers.) Learn more:
https://ohtwist.com (nothing to sell, just information to help folks connect the dots)
Jan