Week in Review (Dec 23-28)

Deconstructing Batman, Psychology of God, Purity Culture Epic Fails, Leaving Religion Toolbelt, and Farewell to a Process Theology Pioneer

Had I not chosen my current professional path, I might have pursued criminology and criminal psychology. For a season of my life I traveled the world doing investigative work with an international human rights agency. We particularly worked cases of forced child prostitution and child slave labor. I posed as a “customer” in brothels to document those establishments that were trafficking and victimizing the youngest girls. Each year 1 million new girls are forced into child prostitution. The cases I worked involved girls as young as 14 who were forced to provide sex to “customers” 4-5 times a day.

I also posed as an “investor” in child slave labor camps. In one of those camps little boys had an hourly quota to meet in rolling cigarettes. If they failed to meet the quota they were beaten with electrical cords. I wrote about my experiences in human rights work in my first book, Divine Nobodies. I also wrote about this in my article, Why won't God stop evil and suffering?

My human rights work sparked an interest not only in stopping people who commit human rights abuses and atrocities against children, but understanding the reasons why a person does this. I’m sure that no 8 year old boys says, “I hope one day I grow up to torment little children.” So, what happens? How and why does this occur?

Why do human beings do what we do, especially outside the bounds of normalcy? I recently read the book, Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert M. Sapolsky. It’s worth the read.

Years ago I read, Listening to Killers: Lessons Learned from My Twenty Years as a Psychological Expert Witness in Murder Cases by James Garbarino. This book deeply impacted my life.

James Garbarino, PhD, didn’t set out to spend so much of his life with murderers. He planned to be a lawyer, but stumbled into a graduate program in human development and family studies at Cornell. He expected to spend his career teaching developmental psychology. But as a professor at Penn State, Garbarino ended up becoming an expert on child abuse and neglect — a topic that led him to a new mission in life.

In 1992, Garbarino was asked to testify as an expert witness in a child abuse case that ended with a mother killing her child. That was the first of more than 60 murder cases in which he has helped judges and juries understand the psychology behind why people kill and helped them make more informed decisions about a defendant’s guilt and punishment.

Garbarino reviews defendants’ records, interviews their family members and spends hours listening to killers (often on death row) to explain how they went from being innocent children to murderous adults. His goal is to explain the psychological and social factors (typically child abuse and war zone-like neighborhood environments) that contribute to a person’s becoming a murderer. As he writes in his book, Listening to Killers, “I listen for the human story behind the monstrous act.”

The general public tends to view murderers as absolutely evil persons or people so damaged they can’t possibly live among us. But most killers are untreated traumatized children. That’s not an excuse, but it is a fact.

Over the holiday Amy and I binge-watched Season 1 of the Netflix series, Mindhunter. Mindhunter is an American psychological crime thriller series about two FBI agents in the late 1970s who expand criminal science by delving into the psychology of murder and getting uneasily close to some of the most notorious killers.

Garbarino writes in Listening to Killers:

“Making good choices is a matter of life and death when you grow up in environments predisposed to violence, crime, and social failure, environments loaded with risk factors and often barren of developmental resources, where what you and your parents bring to the equation is crucial in an unforgiving way.”

And,

“But unless we can see the humanity in their often inhumane actions, we will never understand them, and understanding them is the key to begin making a safer, less violent society.”

My daughter’s career and professional path is in social work. She is licensed and holds an MSW. She deals with the tragic realities of children, families and environments that Garbarino speaks of. For my part, I have an interest in understanding how religion plays a part in these dynamics, good or bad. I am currently publishing a series of articles on Substack on the psychology of religion.

This Week in Writing

I started the week by completing my December Advent series, titled “A Non-Religious Advent”. In my view, Christianity got the two central characters of the Christmas story wrong - Jesus and Mary. I wrote this series because there are several themes associated with the Christmas Jesus-story that I believe have universal relevance, whatever one might believe about God, including the atheist.

The series had four parts:

• Part One: What Christianity Won't Tell You About Jesus

• Part Two: How Christianity Got Mary Wrong

• Part Three: Did Christianity Cover Up What Jesus Actually Did?

• Part Four: How Christianity Took Christ Out of Christmas

I am often asked if I am a “Christian”. A person was recently confused because they saw a mixture of articles that are critical of the Christian religion, and others that have high regard for Jesus. I decided to answer the question once and for all in the last installment (Part Four) of my December Advent Series.

This week I also continued my series, “God in Mind: The Psychology of Religion”. What I hope to achieve in this series includes:

• Introduce people to the field of the psychology of religion to aid their process in cultivating a meaningful and liberating non-religious spirituality.

• Point out ways that the insights from the psychology of religion can aid people in a faith transition, existential crisis, religious deconstruction process, or addressing the dynamics of Religious Trauma Syndrome.

• Demonstrate how to utilize the field of the psychology of religion to develop critical, nuanced, balanced, compassionate thinking about the phenomenon of religion.

The previous first two installments of this series are:

• Part One: Its All in Your Head (Or Is It?) → Series Introduction

• Part Two: Is Religion Illusion, Delusion or Prehension? → Sigmund Freud and Religion

This last week’s new installment (Part Three) is, Does Religion Unlock or Shut Down Our Transcendence? It explores the psychological insights into the nature of religion by Carl Jung.

This entire series requires a commitment on the part of the reader, and is for the person who wants to do some significant and deep religious deconstruction and reconstruction work. These articles are meant to be a resource that you can always come back to throughout your own personal work.

Some of the themes I discussed in this week’s installment are:

• Carl Jung’s top psychological insights into religion

• How to utilize Jungian psychology in post-religion reconstruction

• The power of symbols in for personal transformation and wholeness

• A non-religious appreciation for Christ as an archetypal figure for self-actualization

• What we learn from Bruce Wayne’s Batman alter ego

• Recommendations, assignments and resources for cultivating a more authentic, meaningful, liberating and profound non-religious spirituality

Substackers Hard at Work

Brendan Graham Dempsey

is hard at work, pioneering original thinking in the area of metamodern spirituality and metamodern Christianity. I joined Brendan on his videocast to discuss my journey out of religion, radical theology, and why I no longer identify as a "Christian" but view Jesus as universally relevant. Watch it here. A reasonable place to start with some of Brendan’s work is his article: Metamodern Christianity: Reflections on the Evolution of Faith.

🕯️Paulina Stevenson🕯️

has been hard at work, addressing the dynamics of religious trauma. I appreciate Paulina’s contributions in this field. A couple articles she has recently published on the subject are: Religious Trauma Hurts Us All and The Severity of Religious Trauma. I have published several articles on this subject including: Undoing Religious Pathology: How To Break Free From Harmful Religion and The Leaving-Religion Confessional: Overcoming Religious Guilt and Shame.

James Gómez

is hard at work being real about his evolving post-religion spirituality. He is a former pastor and his Substack newsletter is “Believers in Exile”. A good place to start with him are his articles, What’s Anchored Me Isn’t Following a Niche Version of Christianity and Walking Out of Church on Christmas Eve. I don’t have to agree with everyone on everything to appreciate their authenticity in cultivating a spirituality that works for them and inspires more love and compassion in the world.

Jared Henderson

is hard at work challenging people to cultivate a more robust intellectual life. Jared has a PhD in philosophy from the University of Connecticut, but his Substack newsletter “Commonplace Philosophy” is designed to spark more free and deep thinking by anyone willing to do the work. A couple good posts to begin with his Substack are: Do the reading and 9 Reading Ideas for 2025.

Christine Greenwald

is hard at work helping people disentangle themselves from toxic Evangelicalism. She is a psychotherapist, and explores issues related to religious trauma, ex-evangelicalism, and mental health. Her Substack newsletter is “Recasting Religious Trauma”. A couple pieces of hers to check out are: Narcissism or Evangelicalism: Which Came First? The overlap seems...suspicious and When Belief Dies: When belonging is tied to "right doctrine," what happens when that disappears?

What Subscribers are Saying

MaryLou’s full recommendation reads:

“I support your work because it helps break the barriers to shame, judgments, condemnation and guilt, etc. Your work helps with empowering people to create their own beliefs that are authentic to them. I didn’t have people like you when I left religion and I would have loved to have the toolbelt to deconstruct sooner. I have so much more to say… Thank You!”

It makes me happy to read MaryLou’s words of encouragement, and to know I have made a small contribution to her journey. I particularly appreciated her recognition that early in her journey she did not have “the toolbelt to deconstruct sooner.” Many people who walk away from religion leave with human development deficits that make it difficult to cultivate a meaningful and liberating spirituality, whole approach to life, and sustaining existential health.

Deconstruction is not merely swapping out an old belief system for a new one. Foundational deconstruction work involves:

• addressing human development deficits caused by a high-control religious environment

• recovering and healing from religious abuse or trauma

• unlearning toxic religious indoctrination

• repairing and rebuilding a healthy and empowering relationship with yourself

A significant aspect of my professional work involves aiding people set up the toolbelt MaryLou alluded to. Some time ago I created The Leaving-Religion Resource Guide. The primary motivation behind my current series on the psychology of religion is to help people do foundational religious deconstruction and spiritual reconstruction work.

However you may subscribe to my Substack newsletter, I am grateful for you reading, commenting, recommending and supporting my writing efforts. Thank you :)

This Week in Photos

This was an interesting cartoon by David Hayward. Among other things, toxic religion’s purity culture damages a person’s sexuality. Butch Hancock wrote, “Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things: One is that God loves you and you’re going to burn in hell. The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love.”

Volunteers dressed in Santa Claus costumes rappel from the roof of Children's Hospital Srebrnjak to bring gifts to the children, in Zagreb, Croatia.

The NY Giants have had a dismal NFL season and currently has the worst record with only two wins. The good news is that they are currently in the lead for the 1st pick in the 2025 NFL Draft. Their top need might be a quarterback. Meanwhile, Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe is likely to be one of the top QBs in the draft.

John Boswell Cobb Jr. died on Thursday at 99 years of age. I am grateful for the few conversations I had with him. Last year at a theological conference I offered a review of one of his books, and facilitated a conversation about it. His theological and philosophical work has had a significant impact on my own spiritual and human formation. He is often regarded as the preeminent scholar in the field of process philosophy and process theology, the school of thought associated with the philosophy of Alfred North Whitehead.

John B. Cobb Jr. died on Thursday at 99 years of age. I am grateful for the few conversations I had with him over the years. Last year at a theological conference I offered a review of one of his books, and facilitated a conversation about it. His theological and philosophical work has had a significant impact on my own spiritual and human formation. He is often regarded as one of the preeminent scholars in process philosophy and process theology.

Process philosophy (often associated with the work of Alfred Whitehead) essentially says that all existence is fundamentally dynamic and not static. In other words, the universe is not a big blank space occupied with static objects (substance philosophy), rather the universe exists as a perpetual process of dynamic change and experience. Nothing just exists, everything grows together. Process philosophy asserts the premise that the fundamental nature of being and existence is dynamic, and should be the primary focus of any comprehensive account of reality and our place within it.

When you add "God" to the equation, you have "process theology", which says that God is inseparable from this dynamic and evolving process. To be fair, there is a lot of debate about how Whitehead himself situated the idea of God into the process philosophy framework and/or what is the most credible way to incorporate Whiteheadian philosophy into theology.

Process theology often pulls away from Christian theism in favor of other views of God such as panentheism. Panentheism considers God and the world to be interrelated with "the world being in God and God being in the world." The challenge here might be that as long as there's a thing called "God" and another thing called the "world", there seem to be two very different and distinct things. Right? That's why you need two different words to identify them. In other words, it seems to give “God” an objectified existence that is separate, special, and different from everything else - “the world.” This is not necessarily a problem if you are okay with an ultimate reality that changes and evolves, and for other reasons you want to call it, “God”.

Perhaps the moral of the story is that there is no philosophical or theological system that can perfectly conceive or explain ultimate reality. That's not to say all explanations are equal. Right? At least in my view, a theological system that condones shame, fear, violence, racism, sexism, hatred, etc. is not equal in value to a theological system that promotes love, compassion, peace, equality, and harmony.

One reason why I have such high regard for John B. Cobb, Jr. is because his theological insights led to a message of love, compassion and inclusivity. For example, he once wrote, “There are more scriptural reasons to oppose homophobia than to oppose homosexuality.”

In his book, Confessions, Cobb wrote:

“Much of Christianity has become a matter of believing certain things about the results of Jesus' death on a cross. Some of these theories assert that Jesus' death enables God to forgive us and thus makes salvation possible for those who accept these ideas. Those who hold that this is the gospel often have little interest in what Jesus actually said and did as reported in the gospels. What Jesus taught and revealed in his actions is emphatically not a God who requires Jesus's suffering in order to love and forgive us.”

I am grateful for John B. Cobb, Jr. - who he was for the world, and the impact he had on my journey.

Ray Bradbury wrote:

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touches some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there.”

You ready for 2025? I’m going to be starting a new series in the new year, and some new perks for paid subscribers. It’s a great time to become a free and paid subscriber.

For Your Deconstruction Toolbelt

Here are a few common realities that people feel and experience after leaving religion:

1. Anger

It’s not uncommon for a person to feel anger after leaving toxic religion upon realizing all that was taken from them and ways they were deeply damaged.

2. Betrayal

People often feel betrayed after leaving religion as a result of how former “friends” and church “family” suddenly withdraw their love and acceptance and discontinue relationship.

3. Loneliness

It’s often the case that a person who leaves toxic religion feels alone with few if any people who can understand or listen without judgement.

4. Lost

People sometimes feel destabilized after leaving religion - after all, the belief-system you built your security, identity, purpose and meaning around comes crashing to the ground.

5. Overwhelmed

Life after religion can feel like a major re-build. Right? Leaving religion changes everything. It can feel like a lot.

6. Doubt

“What if I'm wrong?” Right? Do I need to say anymore. Doubt is also a common feeling that accompanies the leaving-religion process.

All those feelings are normal and part of the journey. I felt all of them in my own journey out of religion. I wrote on this subject in my article: The 5 Cold Hard Truths of Leaving Religion.

Leaving Religion Mindset Shifts

To get you started in a useful direction, don't think of your deconstruction process as a crisis, problem or failure. Take it as a critical step in your evolutionary process of self-actualization.

Here are a few mindset shifts you may find useful:

“I'm having a crisis of faith”

“Crisis” is defined as “a time of intense difficulty, trouble, or danger.” The term “crisis of faith” feels like something is wrong, there’s a problem, you’re a failure, you should be worried and fearful, there will be consequences.

Flip it over -> “I'm having an awakening”

A new mindset: “Shedding religion is a gift and a pivotal component of my continuing evolution and self-actualization as a human being. It's a deepening, expanding, and transforming journey of my growth and liberation.”

*

“I'm not certain of anything anymore”

Religion claims to offer certainty on all the important existential questions, such as: Is there a God? Where did we come from? What is the meaning and purpose of life? What happens when we die? Is there an afterlife? When one can no longer accept religion's answers to these questions, it can feel like we have lost our bearings and know nothing.

Flip it over -> “I always know what matters most”

A new mindset: “My deconstruction is not finding a better set of answers to the same existential questions, it's orienting my life around a different set of questions altogether.”

For example, rather than stressing about the “meaning of life”, ask yourself: What does it mean for me to live my life meaningfully?

Rather than stressing about “the origins of life”, ask yourself: What does it mean for me to participate in the lived human experience with courage, compassion, wisdom and passion?

Rather than stressing over if and what “God” is, ask yourself: What would it mean for me to know, experience, and express myself as a human embodiment of the ultimate nature of all things?

The most important knowledge you truly need you already have, which includes several solid truths you can build my life around.

*

“My life is ground zero and I am sifting through the rubble trying to make sense of it all.”

Flip it over -> “I have cleared a space for new possibilities”

A new mindset: “The beliefs and mindsets that once were preventing and limiting my growth have been identified and discarded; not I have a new space from which to cultivate a life of greater meaning, purpose, fulfillment and well-being.”

*

“I have lost my social network and relationships, and virtually everyone I once trusted and considered a friend has rejected me.”

Flip it over -> “I am cultivating new relationships of depth and authenticity”

A new mindset: “It’s time to cultivate a new social network of friendships with people who are on a similar path as myself and will accept and appreciate me for who and where I am.”

*

“I don't know who I am anymore”

Flip it over -> “I am who I choose to become”

A new mindset: “I am forging a new relationship with myself, which includes orienting my life around what matters most to me, and choosing a way of being in the world that inspires, fulfills and calls forth the best and highest of who and what I am.”

In Summary

• People do evil things and the field of criminal psychology tries to understand why in hopes of addressing the dynamics associated with harmful behavior.

• I’m currently writing a series of articles on the psychology of religion to aid people in their religious deconstruction and spiritual reconstruction process, and for cultivating stronger existential health. And the cool thing is that I get to deconstruct Batman as part of it!

• Is it me, or does the person with all those tools in the photo have one too many hand saws???

• The NY Giants may get the first pick in the 2025 NFL Draft… only problem is that they may need the top ten picks to sort out their issues.

• Leaving religion is typically a volatile process but there are mindset shifts that can be useful.

• It’s a great time to become a paid subscriber with some new perks being added for 2025.

“Right or wrong, it's very pleasant to break something from time to time.”
- Fyodor Dostoevsky

A recent Thetis Island ferry ride to the main island: