Thank you for this. My son took his life 10 years ago and since then, I’ve had moments of such excruciating grief and heartache that I so desperately wanted the pain to end. So I understood in a way why he did it, but wished that he had talked to me so I could have tried to help him. It’s true what you said.. the loss permanently alters you. I’m not the same person I used to be.
Jim, I am so grateful to have stumbled upon your writings this year. Your perspective on life resonates with me on so many levels...too many to share in this comment. This piece is especially meaningful as my precious mother died by suicide in 1988, right in between my college graduation and my wedding. I was just 22 years old and she was just 55. We were very close, and I loved her dearly. I've often described my experience of her death as having been run over by a train and somehow managing to survive. It is difficult to put into words the feeling of that kind of trauma that is felt in the body all at once. I remember sharing with family and friends that I had never felt more alive, because her death activated every cell in my body. I felt every emotion in an instant, and I skipped right past denial into a full-on awareness that my mother was gone. Conversely, I also remember the distinct feeling that she was no longer trapped in a body "somewhere" ... she was now "everywhere". I believe that her suicide was also a bit paradoxical, as so much of life is. She didn't want to die (just wanted an end to her suffering), and she did want to die (she chose to shoot herself in the heart). As a nurse, she was keenly aware that there would be no coming back from that. So, yes, as you have so beautifully and thoughtfully articulated, it's complicated and nuanced. Thank you for using your voice for healing, health, and wholeness. ❤️
Suicide is a topic I have given a lot of thought to, as my sister took her life 9 years ago, and now I find myself to be quite suicidal also, albeit for very different reasons. I never imagined I would feel this way, but life took a bizarre turn and here I am. You hit the nail on the head when you said that it isn't about wanting to die, but rather about not being able to conceive of a way of staying. It is about not seeing a solution to a problem that would be resolved by my dying. I think it is also important to understand that suicide is often viewed by others as the easy way out, and I think it is anything but. It takes tremendous courage to overcome the innate will to live to pull that trigger, or pop those pills. Movies and TV make it look easy and spontaneous, but I think most people that take their own life have been privately suffering and contemplating that action for a very long time.
To continue… the burden placed on family members, suicide seems like a rational option in a society that provides so little support. Skilled nursing care costs $15,000/ month. Family caregiving places family members in a hopeless position and often destroys relationships. I understand why suicide is a choice some people in this situation decide to take.
As do I. I watched my late father suffer immeasureably for almost three years. Though he could have ended his life with the myriad of medications he had at his bedside, he did not. I watched. I saw his tears. I heard his cries for an unseen deity to take him. I hope I have the courage to not end as he did.
I masterpiece, Jim. I'm so glad you wrote it. And I'm also glad the AI agent that monitors my hundreds of emails a day alerted me to it. I'll write you a message or an email about it, but for now I'm about to cross-post it.
I looking forward to the death experience because I can go places in my head and imagine things I can’t manifest on East while in a body. The body is the limited trap of the ensouled beingness we all are. God is the limitless creative imagination quantum field of all possibilities. People have been so socially engineered to believe THIS existence is all there is and to make people into obedient little workers and followers just trying to pay bills & manage marginalized conventional lives to fit in, to conform, children and adults are distanced from their critical and creative thinking skills and handed scripts they didn’t write to act out in limited ways - mass mind control instead of unlimited adventure and joyful creation. It’s undignified. I’m world weary and ready to go! GOD take me in my sleep! I’m not depressed or suicidal I’m just looking forward to dropping off the body like some clothes that don’t fit anymore.
The original analysis correctly notes that the quote reframes loneliness as "purposeful spiritual pedagogy." From a suicide prevention perspective, this reframing becomes catastrophic when isolation is not a temporary lesson but a crushing, years-long reality.
For someone considering suicide, their inner logic often centers on being a burden, being unlovable, or being fundamentally disconnected from others. This quote “you do not need anybody but HIM" can inadvertently validate that pathology rather than heal it.
Specific Dangers When Considering Suicide
1. It Removes Interpersonal Safeguards
Suicide prevention relies heavily on connection: a friend who checks in, a therapist who asks the hard question, a community that provides belonging. By telling a sufferer that God isolated them on purpose to teach dependence, the quote implicitly discourages reaching out. The sufferer may think, "If I seek human comfort, I am resisting God's lesson." That is a lethal message.
2. It Weaponizes Spiritual Failure
When a suicidal person in this engineered isolation still feels despair—when God's presence feels absent, which is the very definition of loneliness the quote's logic flips. They conclude: "God gave me this chance to depend on Him alone, and I still want to die. Therefore my faith is worthless, and I am beyond help." What was meant as comfort becomes a verdict.
3. It Confuses Helplessness with Holiness
The quote equates radical dependence on God with accepting isolation. But suicidal despair often produces a toxic dependence - the belief that no human could or should help, that only death ends the pain. The sufferer cannot distinguish between "waiting on God" and passively letting their condition worsen because seeking help would violate the "you don't need anybody" command.
Theological and Pastoral Rebuttal (Through a Suicide Prevention Lens)
Against the quote, consider this:
Genesis 2:18 ("not good to be alone") is not a suggestion. God Himself named isolation as intrinsically harmful before sin ever entered the world. Deliberate isolation cannot be God's pedagogy because God does not inflict what He called "not good."
Galatians 6:2 ("Bear one another's burdens") becomes impossible if everyone is isolated for divine training. The command implies that God intends burden-bearing to happen through flesh-and-blood people.
1. Corinthians 12:26 ("If one member suffers, all suffer together") means your isolation is not just your trial—it is the community's failure. The quote's individualism lets communities off the hook.
The Crucial Distinction
A spiritually healthy "dark night of the soul" (John of the Cross) has two features this quote lacks:
1. It is temporary and bounded, not a permanent state God engineers.
2. It is accompanied by spiritual direction and community—the sufferer remains in relationship even while feeling abandoned by God.
The quote offers neither boundary nor support. For a suicidal person, that is not a lesson. It is a trap.
Conclusion
The original analysis called the quote "potentially harmful." With the horror of suicide in view, that is too mild. The quote is pastorally dangerous because it:
Normalizes what suicide research identifies as a primary risk factor (chronic isolation)
Discourages help-seeking by framing it as spiritual disobedience
Converts the God of "I will never leave you" into the architect of abandonment
No spiritual insight that deepens trust in God should require making suicide seem like a logical or inevitable outcome. This quote, however gently intended, does exactly that.
I lost my dad to suicide when I was just 12 years old. As you said, "there are losses that do not resolve into wisdom, closure, or a clean life lesson. They remain inside you as a permanent alteration of the self."
I'm 38 now and have spent my whole adult life picking up those pieces and trying to put them together. I've come a long way, but have left alot of brokenness behind me, and I have to live with that, too.
When I think of my dad, it makes sense now. He was in a marriage that wasn't working out, stress and work burnout (dentist), financial mismanagement, undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, and his own childhood trauma. It all compounded upon itself and he couldn't see a way forward.
In church, I was told that God is a simple God and His word is simple. But I knew from experience that life was much more complex than organized religion made it out to be. I like the part you said about Sisyphus. That's so true, resolving the grief after a suicide is like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill. Just when you think you've got it resolved, the boulder just falls back down.
And I like what you said, too about mental health. I, too, dislike seeing it made into a purely "mental health" issue that can be fixed with a little therapy and the right meds, even though those things can help. The world has become a very complex place, with so much more to manage. And its harder and harder for young people to get a footing in this world, and I think that makes it harder to build a life worth inhabiting.
There is religious belief and there is spiritual faith. Belief and faith are not synonymous. Modern culture has thrown out spiritual faith along with religious beliefs. Faith gives one meaning and hope. Without a spiritual faith, human life is a depressing dilemma.
Thank you. I've been struggling with suicidal ideation my whole life. You just identified so many problems that keep me in this state. I've been receiving mental health treatment for around 16 years. I've never heard someone lay everything out like you have. It's so validating to have someone explain why this isn't my fault and why it's so difficult to climb out of. The state of modern society that you describe also makes me very concerned about my young son's generation. He's already experienced a kid in his school dying by suicide. Now is the right time to start trying to counteract mental and existential health issues that are going to arise. Thank you so much, the work you do saves lives. ❤️
Wow... thank you Jim, this has been incredibly helpful for me, it has helped me find clarity with so many things... I have sensed these things you speak of but I could not put them into words... I now feel a profound clarity that will be so helpful to me moving forward and hopefully helpful to others if I can build my capacity and share new found hope with others. You have provided a great service to humanity with your understanding and the gift of your writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the depths of my soul 🙏 Onward with renewed hope and energy for capacity building, reconnection and sharing with others during this time of existential crisis... ❤️🙏
The quote presents a common devotional idea: God deliberately engineers isolation so a person learns radical, exclusive dependence on Him alone. Loneliness is reframed as purposeful spiritual pedagogy rather than accident or cruelty.
Evaluation
It offers comfort to some believers by giving meaning to suffering and encouraging deeper trust in God. It echoes certain strands of Christian mysticism that value detachment and the “dark night” experience.
Criticism
Several problems stand out. Biblical tension arises because Scripture repeatedly affirms that human relationships and community are good and necessary (“It is not good that the man should be alone” — Genesis 2:18; the Church as Christ’s body; commands to love one another, bear burdens, etc.). A statement that “you do not need anybody but HIM” flattens this relational emphasis into radical individualism.
Theological issue: The phrasing “God … needs you to realize” attributes a need or lack to God. Classical Christian theology holds that God is self-sufficient and does not require human realization to complete divine purposes.
Psychological & ethical risk: Chronic loneliness harms health. Romanticizing it as God’s direct method can discourage healthy connection, mutual support, or seeking help. In extreme cases it can even appear to justify desperate actions that violate another person’s autonomy (a theme explored in stories of profound isolation).
In short, the quote contains a partial spiritual insight but presents an incomplete and potentially harmful view of both God and human nature by downplaying community, interdependence, and the goodness of relationships that Scripture itself affirms.
We must ask ourselves: What kind of world are we building? One with enough beauty, genuine belonging, and shared meaning to make the weight of being alive feel worth carrying? A world where people feel held rather than merely tolerated, connected rather than simply adjacent?
It falls on all of us, in how we build communities, how we treat the people around us, and how seriously we take the quiet suffering of those who have not yet found the words for how close to the edge they are.
This craving to escape arises from a multitude of reasons. Some feel they have lived a full life, but have grown too weary to continue. Others are in so much pain that they see death as the only way to stop it. Others are simply tired of waking up day after day to the exact same thing, to a life completely devoid of joy and overwhelmed by drudgery.
Building a world that people actually want to remain inside feels like the deeper project. While many individuals, crisis workers, and communities are already taking this intensely seriously and pouring their lives into it, our broader cultural institutions and systems have barely begun to match that urgency.
I ask for GOD TO TAKE ME IN MY SLEEP everyday….Why? Because I’m sane in an insane world. It’s not the same as being suicidal. I’m not depressed, not entitled, not thinking life should be fair or that others should be or act in ways that please me when they won’t and can’t. When I was 14 yo I took a bottle of pills in a deliberate attempt at suicide out of deep despair and wishing for oblivion to end the pain. Now I’m 57 and I’m just world weary. I’ve completed my mission here and feel like I’m consciousness/eternal Spirit in a body and I’m ready to go and find out what’s on the other side of “death” without fear or strong emotions. I don’t like the way society is mind controlled or run and I don’t like living in this matrix where people are made into puppets to deliberately create misery and suffering when it doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t care for the fact that oligarchy corporacracy patriarchy mediocrity and idiocracy and criminals rule and it’s the creative sensitive people who are essentially exploited for their labor and creativity to prop up leadership that preys on them across cultures. I can’t change the world, only offer my perspective and I’m tired of being marginalized limited censored and farmed. I really like and enjoy myself. I’m proud of how much I’ve grown spiritually having worked through my shadow side to eliminate the shame and fear based programming installed in me as a child. I see how the misery programmers operate and I know more about how the government and military industrial complex controls people to keep the masses down than most people comprehend. I disagree with their methods. Mainly I wish for death because I don’t believe suicide is the answer but I live with a lot of physical pain. I don’t like that this is a pay to play society and once you can’t afford to live you’re dead anyway. Might as well go while you still have some pleasures in life and some dignity. Our social structures, ever increasing computerized, monetized, commercialized, militarized way of life rob people of simple pleasures and basic human dignity. Those who rule the world know exactly what they are doing and I’m tired of this incarnation in a military grade obstacle course of testing people for how much suffering they can survive before they do voluntarily commit suicide. I’ve passed my initiations and rid myself of strong emotions and attachments. I’m an existential nobody and content to be so. I’m convinced this earthy realm is a short shadowy false reality based system we are meant to see through and recognize we are not our bodies and life without a limited body is freedom. It’s your mental/emotional state when you die. When the breath leaves my body I’ll be glad. Death is welcome because I’m existentially sane and have nothing left to do or fix or be or prove. Peace to all here.
Add to all this having a neurodivergent brain. How to find belonging, meaning, agency in a world that doesn’t speak your language.
Thank you for this. My son took his life 10 years ago and since then, I’ve had moments of such excruciating grief and heartache that I so desperately wanted the pain to end. So I understood in a way why he did it, but wished that he had talked to me so I could have tried to help him. It’s true what you said.. the loss permanently alters you. I’m not the same person I used to be.
Jim, I am so grateful to have stumbled upon your writings this year. Your perspective on life resonates with me on so many levels...too many to share in this comment. This piece is especially meaningful as my precious mother died by suicide in 1988, right in between my college graduation and my wedding. I was just 22 years old and she was just 55. We were very close, and I loved her dearly. I've often described my experience of her death as having been run over by a train and somehow managing to survive. It is difficult to put into words the feeling of that kind of trauma that is felt in the body all at once. I remember sharing with family and friends that I had never felt more alive, because her death activated every cell in my body. I felt every emotion in an instant, and I skipped right past denial into a full-on awareness that my mother was gone. Conversely, I also remember the distinct feeling that she was no longer trapped in a body "somewhere" ... she was now "everywhere". I believe that her suicide was also a bit paradoxical, as so much of life is. She didn't want to die (just wanted an end to her suffering), and she did want to die (she chose to shoot herself in the heart). As a nurse, she was keenly aware that there would be no coming back from that. So, yes, as you have so beautifully and thoughtfully articulated, it's complicated and nuanced. Thank you for using your voice for healing, health, and wholeness. ❤️
Suicide is a topic I have given a lot of thought to, as my sister took her life 9 years ago, and now I find myself to be quite suicidal also, albeit for very different reasons. I never imagined I would feel this way, but life took a bizarre turn and here I am. You hit the nail on the head when you said that it isn't about wanting to die, but rather about not being able to conceive of a way of staying. It is about not seeing a solution to a problem that would be resolved by my dying. I think it is also important to understand that suicide is often viewed by others as the easy way out, and I think it is anything but. It takes tremendous courage to overcome the innate will to live to pull that trigger, or pop those pills. Movies and TV make it look easy and spontaneous, but I think most people that take their own life have been privately suffering and contemplating that action for a very long time.
For the elderly, facing a diagnosis of dementia, and the loss of self with the financial and social burdens the
To continue… the burden placed on family members, suicide seems like a rational option in a society that provides so little support. Skilled nursing care costs $15,000/ month. Family caregiving places family members in a hopeless position and often destroys relationships. I understand why suicide is a choice some people in this situation decide to take.
As do I. I watched my late father suffer immeasureably for almost three years. Though he could have ended his life with the myriad of medications he had at his bedside, he did not. I watched. I saw his tears. I heard his cries for an unseen deity to take him. I hope I have the courage to not end as he did.
There are far worse things that not being.
I masterpiece, Jim. I'm so glad you wrote it. And I'm also glad the AI agent that monitors my hundreds of emails a day alerted me to it. I'll write you a message or an email about it, but for now I'm about to cross-post it.
I looking forward to the death experience because I can go places in my head and imagine things I can’t manifest on East while in a body. The body is the limited trap of the ensouled beingness we all are. God is the limitless creative imagination quantum field of all possibilities. People have been so socially engineered to believe THIS existence is all there is and to make people into obedient little workers and followers just trying to pay bills & manage marginalized conventional lives to fit in, to conform, children and adults are distanced from their critical and creative thinking skills and handed scripts they didn’t write to act out in limited ways - mass mind control instead of unlimited adventure and joyful creation. It’s undignified. I’m world weary and ready to go! GOD take me in my sleep! I’m not depressed or suicidal I’m just looking forward to dropping off the body like some clothes that don’t fit anymore.
Suicide and The Failure of Arrival
The Core Conflict
The original analysis correctly notes that the quote reframes loneliness as "purposeful spiritual pedagogy." From a suicide prevention perspective, this reframing becomes catastrophic when isolation is not a temporary lesson but a crushing, years-long reality.
For someone considering suicide, their inner logic often centers on being a burden, being unlovable, or being fundamentally disconnected from others. This quote “you do not need anybody but HIM" can inadvertently validate that pathology rather than heal it.
Specific Dangers When Considering Suicide
1. It Removes Interpersonal Safeguards
Suicide prevention relies heavily on connection: a friend who checks in, a therapist who asks the hard question, a community that provides belonging. By telling a sufferer that God isolated them on purpose to teach dependence, the quote implicitly discourages reaching out. The sufferer may think, "If I seek human comfort, I am resisting God's lesson." That is a lethal message.
2. It Weaponizes Spiritual Failure
When a suicidal person in this engineered isolation still feels despair—when God's presence feels absent, which is the very definition of loneliness the quote's logic flips. They conclude: "God gave me this chance to depend on Him alone, and I still want to die. Therefore my faith is worthless, and I am beyond help." What was meant as comfort becomes a verdict.
3. It Confuses Helplessness with Holiness
The quote equates radical dependence on God with accepting isolation. But suicidal despair often produces a toxic dependence - the belief that no human could or should help, that only death ends the pain. The sufferer cannot distinguish between "waiting on God" and passively letting their condition worsen because seeking help would violate the "you don't need anybody" command.
Theological and Pastoral Rebuttal (Through a Suicide Prevention Lens)
Against the quote, consider this:
Genesis 2:18 ("not good to be alone") is not a suggestion. God Himself named isolation as intrinsically harmful before sin ever entered the world. Deliberate isolation cannot be God's pedagogy because God does not inflict what He called "not good."
Galatians 6:2 ("Bear one another's burdens") becomes impossible if everyone is isolated for divine training. The command implies that God intends burden-bearing to happen through flesh-and-blood people.
1. Corinthians 12:26 ("If one member suffers, all suffer together") means your isolation is not just your trial—it is the community's failure. The quote's individualism lets communities off the hook.
The Crucial Distinction
A spiritually healthy "dark night of the soul" (John of the Cross) has two features this quote lacks:
1. It is temporary and bounded, not a permanent state God engineers.
2. It is accompanied by spiritual direction and community—the sufferer remains in relationship even while feeling abandoned by God.
The quote offers neither boundary nor support. For a suicidal person, that is not a lesson. It is a trap.
Conclusion
The original analysis called the quote "potentially harmful." With the horror of suicide in view, that is too mild. The quote is pastorally dangerous because it:
Normalizes what suicide research identifies as a primary risk factor (chronic isolation)
Discourages help-seeking by framing it as spiritual disobedience
Converts the God of "I will never leave you" into the architect of abandonment
No spiritual insight that deepens trust in God should require making suicide seem like a logical or inevitable outcome. This quote, however gently intended, does exactly that.
A powerful development article. Social restructuring investment needs to be our focus away from toxic individualism 🙏
Thank you for sharing this.
I lost my dad to suicide when I was just 12 years old. As you said, "there are losses that do not resolve into wisdom, closure, or a clean life lesson. They remain inside you as a permanent alteration of the self."
I'm 38 now and have spent my whole adult life picking up those pieces and trying to put them together. I've come a long way, but have left alot of brokenness behind me, and I have to live with that, too.
When I think of my dad, it makes sense now. He was in a marriage that wasn't working out, stress and work burnout (dentist), financial mismanagement, undiagnosed and untreated mental illness, and his own childhood trauma. It all compounded upon itself and he couldn't see a way forward.
In church, I was told that God is a simple God and His word is simple. But I knew from experience that life was much more complex than organized religion made it out to be. I like the part you said about Sisyphus. That's so true, resolving the grief after a suicide is like Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill. Just when you think you've got it resolved, the boulder just falls back down.
And I like what you said, too about mental health. I, too, dislike seeing it made into a purely "mental health" issue that can be fixed with a little therapy and the right meds, even though those things can help. The world has become a very complex place, with so much more to manage. And its harder and harder for young people to get a footing in this world, and I think that makes it harder to build a life worth inhabiting.
There is religious belief and there is spiritual faith. Belief and faith are not synonymous. Modern culture has thrown out spiritual faith along with religious beliefs. Faith gives one meaning and hope. Without a spiritual faith, human life is a depressing dilemma.
Thank you. I've been struggling with suicidal ideation my whole life. You just identified so many problems that keep me in this state. I've been receiving mental health treatment for around 16 years. I've never heard someone lay everything out like you have. It's so validating to have someone explain why this isn't my fault and why it's so difficult to climb out of. The state of modern society that you describe also makes me very concerned about my young son's generation. He's already experienced a kid in his school dying by suicide. Now is the right time to start trying to counteract mental and existential health issues that are going to arise. Thank you so much, the work you do saves lives. ❤️
Wow... thank you Jim, this has been incredibly helpful for me, it has helped me find clarity with so many things... I have sensed these things you speak of but I could not put them into words... I now feel a profound clarity that will be so helpful to me moving forward and hopefully helpful to others if I can build my capacity and share new found hope with others. You have provided a great service to humanity with your understanding and the gift of your writing. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and from the depths of my soul 🙏 Onward with renewed hope and energy for capacity building, reconnection and sharing with others during this time of existential crisis... ❤️🙏
Analysis
The quote presents a common devotional idea: God deliberately engineers isolation so a person learns radical, exclusive dependence on Him alone. Loneliness is reframed as purposeful spiritual pedagogy rather than accident or cruelty.
Evaluation
It offers comfort to some believers by giving meaning to suffering and encouraging deeper trust in God. It echoes certain strands of Christian mysticism that value detachment and the “dark night” experience.
Criticism
Several problems stand out. Biblical tension arises because Scripture repeatedly affirms that human relationships and community are good and necessary (“It is not good that the man should be alone” — Genesis 2:18; the Church as Christ’s body; commands to love one another, bear burdens, etc.). A statement that “you do not need anybody but HIM” flattens this relational emphasis into radical individualism.
Theological issue: The phrasing “God … needs you to realize” attributes a need or lack to God. Classical Christian theology holds that God is self-sufficient and does not require human realization to complete divine purposes.
Psychological & ethical risk: Chronic loneliness harms health. Romanticizing it as God’s direct method can discourage healthy connection, mutual support, or seeking help. In extreme cases it can even appear to justify desperate actions that violate another person’s autonomy (a theme explored in stories of profound isolation).
In short, the quote contains a partial spiritual insight but presents an incomplete and potentially harmful view of both God and human nature by downplaying community, interdependence, and the goodness of relationships that Scripture itself affirms.
We must ask ourselves: What kind of world are we building? One with enough beauty, genuine belonging, and shared meaning to make the weight of being alive feel worth carrying? A world where people feel held rather than merely tolerated, connected rather than simply adjacent?
It falls on all of us, in how we build communities, how we treat the people around us, and how seriously we take the quiet suffering of those who have not yet found the words for how close to the edge they are.
This craving to escape arises from a multitude of reasons. Some feel they have lived a full life, but have grown too weary to continue. Others are in so much pain that they see death as the only way to stop it. Others are simply tired of waking up day after day to the exact same thing, to a life completely devoid of joy and overwhelmed by drudgery.
Building a world that people actually want to remain inside feels like the deeper project. While many individuals, crisis workers, and communities are already taking this intensely seriously and pouring their lives into it, our broader cultural institutions and systems have barely begun to match that urgency.
I ask for GOD TO TAKE ME IN MY SLEEP everyday….Why? Because I’m sane in an insane world. It’s not the same as being suicidal. I’m not depressed, not entitled, not thinking life should be fair or that others should be or act in ways that please me when they won’t and can’t. When I was 14 yo I took a bottle of pills in a deliberate attempt at suicide out of deep despair and wishing for oblivion to end the pain. Now I’m 57 and I’m just world weary. I’ve completed my mission here and feel like I’m consciousness/eternal Spirit in a body and I’m ready to go and find out what’s on the other side of “death” without fear or strong emotions. I don’t like the way society is mind controlled or run and I don’t like living in this matrix where people are made into puppets to deliberately create misery and suffering when it doesn’t have to be that way. I don’t care for the fact that oligarchy corporacracy patriarchy mediocrity and idiocracy and criminals rule and it’s the creative sensitive people who are essentially exploited for their labor and creativity to prop up leadership that preys on them across cultures. I can’t change the world, only offer my perspective and I’m tired of being marginalized limited censored and farmed. I really like and enjoy myself. I’m proud of how much I’ve grown spiritually having worked through my shadow side to eliminate the shame and fear based programming installed in me as a child. I see how the misery programmers operate and I know more about how the government and military industrial complex controls people to keep the masses down than most people comprehend. I disagree with their methods. Mainly I wish for death because I don’t believe suicide is the answer but I live with a lot of physical pain. I don’t like that this is a pay to play society and once you can’t afford to live you’re dead anyway. Might as well go while you still have some pleasures in life and some dignity. Our social structures, ever increasing computerized, monetized, commercialized, militarized way of life rob people of simple pleasures and basic human dignity. Those who rule the world know exactly what they are doing and I’m tired of this incarnation in a military grade obstacle course of testing people for how much suffering they can survive before they do voluntarily commit suicide. I’ve passed my initiations and rid myself of strong emotions and attachments. I’m an existential nobody and content to be so. I’m convinced this earthy realm is a short shadowy false reality based system we are meant to see through and recognize we are not our bodies and life without a limited body is freedom. It’s your mental/emotional state when you die. When the breath leaves my body I’ll be glad. Death is welcome because I’m existentially sane and have nothing left to do or fix or be or prove. Peace to all here.