I'm trying to speak with family... And most people.. Yes nobody seems to want to get personal or human so to speak... And then I'm back to self talking and self soothing or dialogue.
And then I just have to tell a sibling or whatever that yes, I understand that I demand a deeper form of conversation and a realism. Well, not this phony crap. In other words, I'm not afraid to explore feelings when most people run from feelings and not to say that I haven't ran from my feelings my whole life or tried to I guess tried to, but I can't. I can't ignore and go on like it seems. So many people can. If there's a wrong, I'd like it to be righted. If there's a pain, I'd like to mention it If someone does something or says something that moves you, it needs to be vocalized. I don't know some people just say you think too much well s*** I live alone with my dog. And yeah I talk out loud and I think. I understand. Well I'm beginning to understand How much? I've claimed to be an individual and I have but really I've been trying to prove and be accepted and all those sorts of things claiming I'm true to myself yet. Really am I if I feel entrapped by others opinions of me I'd like to one day walk freely with my head high knowing I'm all right, how I am, where I am and who I am
The thing is was that's a moving Target right there. Do I not want to say who I am or how I feel because it could be changed tomorrow. But for being insecure self-conscious trauma victim I think I do all right.
Peggy, I felt every word you wrote. I hope you acknowledge how courageous it is to put that out there. I've realised now that people avoid feelings because they don't know how to hold them and that doesn't make your desire of wanting something more real wrong or too much. This was also my recent struggle. I was emotionally exhausted and I felt hurt and devalued. And it took time for me to embrace this 'more emotional' side of me again.
The fact that you are aware, you have a need to speak up when something moves you, as well as your honesty about your own insecurities, this is not considered weakness at all. You are doing more than all right because this is exactly what it means to be human.
Dear Peggy, please know you are loved and supported even though at times, it may not feel that way. Stand up tall and be YOU. Sending you peace and lovingkindness. Namaste~
I'm trying to speak with family... And most people.. Yes nobody seems to want to get personal or human so to speak... And then I'm back to self talking and self soothing or dialogue.
And then I just have to tell a sibling or whatever that yes, I understand that I demand a deeper form of conversation and a realism. Well, not this phony crap. In other words, I'm not afraid to explore feelings when most people run from feelings and not to say that I haven't ran from my feelings my whole life or tried to I guess tried to, but I can't. I can't ignore and go on like it seems. So many people can. If there's a wrong, I'd like it to be righted. If there's a pain, I'd like to mention it If someone does something or says something that moves you, it needs to be vocalized. I don't know some people just say you think too much well s*** I live alone with my dog. And yeah I talk out loud and I think. I understand. Well I'm beginning to understand How much? I've claimed to be an individual and I have but really I've been trying to prove and be accepted and all those sorts of things claiming I'm true to myself yet. Really am I if I feel entrapped by others opinions of me I'd like to one day walk freely with my head high knowing I'm all right, how I am, where I am and who I am
The thing is was that's a moving Target right there. Do I not want to say who I am or how I feel because it could be changed tomorrow. But for being insecure self-conscious trauma victim I think I do all right.
Peggy, I felt every word you wrote. I hope you acknowledge how courageous it is to put that out there. I've realised now that people avoid feelings because they don't know how to hold them and that doesn't make your desire of wanting something more real wrong or too much. This was also my recent struggle. I was emotionally exhausted and I felt hurt and devalued. And it took time for me to embrace this 'more emotional' side of me again.
The fact that you are aware, you have a need to speak up when something moves you, as well as your honesty about your own insecurities, this is not considered weakness at all. You are doing more than all right because this is exactly what it means to be human.
Dear Peggy, please know you are loved and supported even though at times, it may not feel that way. Stand up tall and be YOU. Sending you peace and lovingkindness. Namaste~