Week in Review (April 8-12)
Ex-Mormons, Forgotten Philosophers, Being 100% Human, and Staring Down Dystopia
*I snapped the photo of this Tiger Swallowtail butterfly during a trail run on Racoon Mountain in Chattanooga, Tennessee. Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote, “Beauty will save the world.”
A Mormon Faith-Crisis and Philosophers Forgotten
On Being 100% Human
Sometimes writing on Substack pierces my heart. Inevitably, someone will risk sharing part of their story or journey in a comment on one of my articles, and punctures something deep inside. This week, my article on David Archuleta and ex-Mormons was like that. The article is entitled: Remember David Archuleta? The Courage To Walk Away. It was prompted by the release of his latest single, Hell Together, which is a song about his Mormon faith-crisis, coming to terms with his sexuality, and his love for his mother.
Writing the Mormonism article was complicated. I have several friends who are ex-Mormons. Recently I was contacted by a high-ranking Mormon leader who resigned his position and is leaving the LDS Church. The reality is, as I discuss in the article, countless people are deeply damaged by their experience in the Mormon Church.
On the other hand, I have friends who are practicing Mormons. They are some of the kindest, honest, good-hearted people you’ll ever meet. I sometimes struggle with whether people are good because of their religion, or in spite of it. In the end I discovered that whether you are Mormon or ex-Mormon, Christian or Atheist, Democrat or Republican, Heterosexual or Homosexual… we are all 100% human.
People are born human and are conditioned by narratives and ideologies of race, religion, culture, politics, nationality, and society. This is not necessarily a problem, unless it causes you to violate the first and most fundamental truth of who we all are - human. Identity narratives should not tell you who to love and who to hate, who to accept and who to reject, who to defend and who to attack, who to help and who to disregard.
We are all 100% human, which means we all need the same things, want the same things, and fear the same things. We can thank Abraham Maslow and his Hierarchy of Needs model for helping us figure this out. Don’t let the labels fool you. At the deepest level we are more alike than our labels imply. What is most intimate, is most universal. Press deep enough into each other’s hearts and lived human experience, and we find each other.
Admittedly, I can be a little snarky, and recently I used the word “universalist” to describe my beliefs, which is a term that raises the ire of fundamentalist “Christians”. I put my own twist on the word and wrote the following.
I admit I am a universalist. I believe...
All human beings universally have inherent and equal worth and dignity
All human beings universally possess a set of innate tools, resources and skills to live a whole and meaningful life
All human beings universally share the same fundamental needs, desires and aspirations
All human beings universally are in part a product of their environment, conditions and circumstances
All human beings universally are part of the interdependent web of all existence
All human beings universally have experiences of sadness, sorrow, loss, fear, loneliness, disappointment and illness
All human beings universally have the capacity and responsibility to lead ethical lives
All human beings universally are entitled to freely be themselves and guide their lives according to their own humane convictions, beliefs and values
All human beings universally benefit from attitudes and actions that seek to alleviate human suffering, create peace and harmony and promote human flourishing
All human beings universally seek, desire, enjoy and need love - both giving and receiving it
All human beings universally deserve to be met with compassion and regard
Whatever our identity-narrative is at the time, I believe that we are all profoundly one at the most fundamental level.
Remembering Simone
This week I published Part Two in my series: “Philosophers You’ve Never Heard Of”. The philosopher I discussed is Simone de Beauvoir, and I titled the article, “Is looking at someone really seeing them?”
I learned many years ago not to judge people, but Simone showed me how I do this unknowingly. The world is chock-full of social constructions, which means we mostly don’t have relationships with people-as-they-really-are, but interactions with people-as-concepts-in-our-head. Simone taught me how to see people as they really are and not how I was told to see them. For this, I am forever indebted to her.
Simone de Beauvoir pioneered second-wave feminism, but she also (IMO) saved existential philosophy from going off the cliff - that’s the part you never hear.
In my view, there are three main reasons why Simone de Beauvoir is not more widely known:
She is a woman.
She was cast in the shadow of her partner, philosophical giant Jean-Paul Sartre.
Her contribution is only associated with feminism.
In my view, the philosophical brilliance of Simone de Beauvoir includes how she built upon the existential concepts of “existence precedes essence” and “facticity and transcendence”, and applied these to a deep understanding of the interconnected bonds of human beings.
Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “All life is interrelated. We are all caught in an inescapable network of mutuality. Whatever affects one directly affects all indirectly. We are made to live together because of the interrelated structure of reality.” What Simone did was anchor the sentiments of Dr. King into existential philosophy, and particularly in the areas of ethics and freedom.
Jean-Paul can sit comfy in his French café, sipping his Café Crème, pondering his brilliant philosophical concepts that construct a nice tidy world, but Simone is like: “Must be nice Mr. Existential Philosopher! The rest of us have to live in the real world, contending with the complexities of the lived human experience. We can’t so easily escape into our highfalutin philosophical abstractions.”
Simone writes:
“At the present time there still exist many doctrines which choose to leave in the shadow certain troubling aspects of a too complex situation. But their attempt to lie to us is in vain. Cowardice does not pay. Those reasonable metaphysics, those consoling ethics with which they would like to entice us only accentuate the disorder from which we suffer.”
She also wrote,
“As long as there have been men and they have lived, they have all felt this tragic ambiguity of their condition, but as long as there have been philosophers and they have thought, most of them have tried to mask it.”
Western philosophy may have the same problem as Western theology, too much of it has been done by men. It may be that women have a way of seeing and understanding the world and reality, which men do not. It seems to me that the predominant male view of the world is one that reifies the individual, motivated by conquest, and compartmentalizes knowledge, whereas women tend to more readily get the interrelated nature of reality, view the lived human experience as a communal project, and better connect the dots between theory and practice.
I hope you read the Simone article. Let me know what you think.
Black Mirror
So, Amy and I have been watching the Netflix series, Black Mirror. Have you seen it? It’s not for the faint of heart. Black Mirror is a British anthology television series created by Charlie Brooker. Individual episodes explore a diversity of genres, but most are set in near-future dystopias with sci-fi technology—a type of speculative fiction. The series is inspired by The Twilight Zone and uses the themes of technology and media to comment on contemporary social issues. You can explore the themes and episodes of Black Mirror further here.
As a reminder, “dystopian” is defined as:
an imaginary society that is as dehumanizing and as unpleasant as possible
denoting an imagined state or society where there is great suffering or injustice
the future of a society bereft of reason
Some of you might be saying, “Wait. This seems to be where we are now!”
Some of the top dystopian novels of all time, include:
The history of dystopian literature can be traced back to the reaction to the French Revolution of 1789 and the prospect that mob rule would produce dictatorship. Dystopian fiction emerged as a response to the utopian. Its early history is traced in Gregory Claeys' Dystopia: A Natural History.
Despite dystopian literature having been popular since the 20th century, the last few years there has seen a startling rise in the popularity of dystopian fiction, particularly in YA (young adult) literature.
One reason for dystopian popularity among young adults are the anxieties felt by current technological progress, and the kind of powers and abilities granted by technology, including a heightened sense of control and surveillance over a population. These fears have been reflected in earlier dystopian works such as 1984, focusing on the use of surveillance technology to reign in the population. In Collins’ Hunger Games, technology is used as a tool to repress the population. The first three films set several box office records.
Other YA novels reflect similar themes of inhumanity and isolation, with excessive government control leading to a large chunk of the population being complacent towards the cruel treatment of others, with the protagonist feeling as though life has lost its value. From Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale to Roth’s Divergent, there is a sense of cruelty and inhumanity towards the marginalized members of the population, with the rest standing by and seeming to let it happen.
Common Elements in Dystopian Literature, include:
Excessive measures to police society
Unjust laws
Pressure to conform
Media manipulation and propaganda
Measures to cover up flaws and lies within society
Attempts to erase or revise society's history
Suppression of the arts
Limited or complete lack of individual freedom
Division of people into privileged and unprivileged groups
Little hope for change
Human lives that are rote, meaningless, or inhuman
Economic manipulation
Flawed, misunderstood, or abused advances (science, technology)
Suppression of emotions
I may do a future article on this topic. If you want to further explore the topic, a few articles worth reading are:
In The Handmaid’s Tale, Margaret Atwood wrote, “That was when they suspended the Constitution. They said it would be temporary. There wasn't even any rioting in the streets. People stayed home at night, watching television, looking for some direction. There wasn’t even an enemy you could put your finger on.” It seems that hopelessness and apathy grease the skids to dystopian realities.
Speaking of Simone de Beauvoir, she wrote, “It is in the knowledge of the genuine conditions of our lives that we must draw our strength to live and our reasons for living.” We must learn to live meaningfully and constructively in the tension of our utopian disillusionments and dystopian fears. I address this topic in a past article I wrote, entitled: “Life is Absurd. And that's the good news”.
It concerns me to see that nihilism is on the rise in Generation Z. They are growing up in a world that often appears to be careening toward a dystopian reality. In my work with non-religious people, or those who have left or been traumatized by their involvement in religion, we often discuss the idea of cultivating “existential health”, which includes cultivating a life that feels purposeful, relating meaningfully to the givens of human existence, and adopting a rationale for being a person of courage and compassion in the world.
Post-Religion Parenting
What does post-religion parenting look like? This is a question many parents ask after leaving religion, such as ex-Mormons that I mentioned earlier. Many religion-leaving parents feel regret about religion’s negative impact on their children, and are struggling to know how to encourage a more sound and healthy spirituality in their kids.
Most of us feel like we are falling short as parents. We all wish we had more time, more money, more (fill in the blank) to give our children. But the greatest gift we can give our kids is love. None of us does it perfectly, of course. But our love is what will shape our sons and daughters more than anything else we do as parents.
My daughter is all grown up, and I love her so much. I am so proud of her. I sometimes tell people she's an extraordinary human being, despite me. We are all perfect parents in hindsight.
What follows are several ways you can love your kids by helping them develop healthy independence and self-confidence.
Tell them it’s okay to question what they hear, and equip them to be critical, independent, and freethinkers.
Let them know that being spiritual doesn't mean being religious or require a defined belief-system.
Let them know that being “good” doesn’t automatically mean being submissive, obedient, meek, inhibited, compliant, or restrained, but can also mean being passionate, original, subversive, defiant, nonconformist, and contrary.
Instill in them non-negotiables such as love, compassion, virtue, justice, courage, and the inherent and equal worth of every human being.
Show them that the most important relationship in life is their relationship with themselves, built through self-respect, self-acceptance, self-reliance, self-compassion, self-love, self-care, and self-actualization.
Create a safe space for them to be authentic and real, not judging them based on what they “should” be thinking, feeling, and experiencing, but being interested in what they actually are thinking, feeling, and experiencing.
Let them know that it's okay for them to live into their own individual convictions, beliefs, interests, passions, identity and life direction, and not be pressured or controlled by the expectations and demands of others or the masses.
Teach them that they are ultimately responsible for their own happiness and wellbeing, and to be aware that they cannot take on this responsibility for others.
Let them know the dangers of being a people-pleaser, and help them understand that disapproval, criticism, disfavor and rejection may be signs you're on the right path, not the wrong one.
Teach them it's okay to say "no", to have boundaries, and not allow or tolerate toxic, hurtful, abusive, manipulative, controlling, demeaning, draining people and relationships in their life.
Tell your kids daily that you love them unconditionally. Be specific about what you see that is good, beautiful, special, unique, heroic and extraordinary about who they are. Let them see the passion and rebel in you. Break a few rules with them.
In Summary:
It’s okay to be different as long as we remember we’re all 100% human.
Western philosophy is dominated by men, but women have had to step in more than once to save it from going off the rails.
If we are headed toward a dystopian future, I hope there’s lots of coffee and creamer.
We are all imperfect parents, but show them that the most important relationship in life is their relationship with themselves.
Simone de Beauvoir was right - we are all born, but we have to become human.
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
Hi there, regarding stereotypes and thinking without thinking, check out “Blink” and “Talking To Strangers” by Malcolm Gladwell.
Jim: Would you comment on the supposed miracles of Jesus? I think that he said at one point something to the effect that “I perform miracles so that you will believe in me.” His teachings and life example has been enough for me.
I am suspicious that the miracles were added by Gospel writers eager to recruit adherents.
Or, I could subscribe to the idea that Jesus was a highly spiritually evolved person and, like others, had access to Supra-natural resources.
I just feel that adding the miracle making into the Gospel story pushes the interpretation of Jesus into fairyland which is where a lot of people seem to like their religion and beliefs.
Isn’t the “good news” of God as love obliterate the vengeful daddy-god of the Old Testament and call us to, as you say, embody Christ’s teachings in our lives?