It strikes me as absurd that in Western society in the year 2024 that I would be writing an article titled, “Should Women be Pastors?” and that this question is relevant and even a global headline with this week’s annual meeting of the Southern Baptist Convention, the largest Protestant Christian denomination in the U.S. and world. In fact, yesterday the SBC expelled a Virginia church for believing women can serve as pastors.
But here we are.
In 1920 the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution was completed, giving women the right to vote. In 1963, President John F. Kennedy signs into law the Equal Pay Act, prohibiting sex-based wage discrimination in the workplace. In 2016, Hillary Clinton becomes the first woman to receive a presidential nomination, and in 2021 Kamala Harris is sworn in as the first woman and first woman of color vice president of the United States. Karen Lynch is the CEO of CVS, one of the largest health providers in the world.
And yet women can’t be pastors in the world’s largest Protestant denomination. Wait. What??? Is it me, or is there something seriously wrong here?
The Southern Baptist Women Problem
The SBC 2024 Annual Meeting and Pastors Conference is in full swing this week in Indianapolis. Beginning tomorrow, June 11 at 8:00 am, is the two-day SBC Annual Meeting. This is where SBC leadership conducts its official denominational business each year such as electing officers, setting budgets, hearing reports, and establishing policies.
Some of the items on this year’s agenda are:
voting on a measure to enshrine a ban on women pastors
reports on long-term future of clergy abuse reform
resolution opposing in vitro fertilization
electing a new SBC president out of six candidates
The meeting comes at a fraught time in this worldwide Protestant Christian empire. “Messengers” — as voting delegates are known — will vote on whether to establish a constitutional ban on churches with women pastors. The Annual Meeting will also include the presentation of a report, criticizing the SBC’s handling of sexual abuse among their clergy, and a 205-page list that names hundreds of SBC leaders accused of sexual abuse.
In case you didn’t know, women cannot be pastors or elders in a church affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention, as is consistent with the Baptist Faith and Message 2000, which makes clear “the office of pastor/elder/overseer is limited to men as qualified by Scripture” and cites 1 Timothy 2:9-14, 1 Timothy 3:1-15 and Titus 2:3-5, among other passages.
The doctrinal statement is nonbinding, and the denomination can’t tell its independent churches whom to call as pastor. Some churches with women pastors left, while others stayed but kept a low profile. Still others later appointed women pastors or allowed women to serve under male leaders in associate pastoral roles, citing biblical examples of women in ministry.
Recently, it all came to a head. Churches that have a female functioning in the office of pastor are considered not “in friendly cooperation” with the convention, according to the SBC Executive Committee. Notably, Saddleback Church in California (the largest Baptist church in the state) and Fern Creek Baptist Church in Kentucky were removed in June of 2023 for exactly that reason. A motion passed that summer — pending a second successful vote at this week’s annual meeting — that would amend Article III of the SBC constitution, which outlines the qualifications for the role of pastor in a Southern Baptist church.
Currently, the article lists five points that must be adhered to in order for a church to be considered in friendly cooperation with the convention (uncooperative churches can be recommended for review and possible removal). The suggested constitutional amendment would add a sixth point, stating churches can employ “only men as any kind of pastor or elder as qualified by Scripture”. At the SBC’s annual meeting this week, representatives will vote on whether to amend the denomination’s constitution to essentially ban churches with any women pastors and other positions of leadership.
Christianity and Patriarchy
It would be negligent for me to paint all Christian churches as patriarchal. The ordination of women has been taking place in an increasing number of Protestant churches. For example, Anglican, Lutheran, and Methodist churches have women bishops, priests, and deacons. Some denominations are divided on the issue of women ministers. For instance, the Presbyterian Church USA (PCUSA) allows for female ministers, while the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA) does not.
The topic of patriarchy and its relationship with religion is complex and multifaceted. While it is important to recognize that not all religions perpetuate the exploitation of women, it is true that many societies influenced by patriarchal systems have used religious beliefs and institutions to justify and enforce gender inequalities.
In terms of my angle on this topic, it would be important for you to know that my professional work in religious deconstruction, existential health and religious trauma counseling, connects me with countless women who are deeply damaged through their involvement in toxic patriarchal religion.
I have a “Dear Jim” Gmail folder, filled with emails from women who have shared their journey out of patriarchal religion. Some of these emails are heartbreaking and infuriating. Like the one that read, “Church taught me intolerance and prejudice. I learned at church that women are lesser beings than men, and that God loves me less because I’m female.” Another email read, “I had to shed religion to be a woman.”
What is patriarchal religion?
Historically, the term patriarchy has been used to refer to autocratic rule by the male head of a family. However, since the late 20th century it has also been used to refer to social systems in which power is primarily held by adult men.
Patriarchy is a social system in which positions of dominance and privilege are held by men. In anthropology, the term patriarchy is used both to describe a family or clan controlled by the father or eldest male or group of males. In feminist theory, patriarchy describes a broader social structure in which men as a group dominate women. Patriarchal ideology acts to explain and justify patriarchy by attributing gender inequality to inherent natural differences between men and women, divine commandment, or other fixed structures. A kinder and gentler sounding term used for patriarchal views is complementarianism.
In monotheistic religions – Judaism, Christianity or Islam – masculine dominance is prevalent, if only by the fact that God, unique and all-powerful, is thought of as masculine.
Biblical patriarchy or Christian patriarchy, is a set of beliefs concerning gender relations and their manifestations in institutions, including marriage, the family, and the church. The “Tenets of Biblical Patriarchy” include:
God reveals Himself as masculine, not feminine.
God ordained distinct gender roles for man and woman as part of the created order.
A husband and father is the head of his household, a family leader, provider, and protector.
Male leadership in the home carries over into the church: only men are permitted to hold ruling positions in the church. A God-honoring society will likewise prefer male leadership in civil and other spheres.
Since the woman was created as a helper to her husband, as the bearer of children, and as a “keeper at home”, the God-ordained and proper sphere of dominion for a wife is the household and that which is connected with the home.
There is a range of severity in terms of Christian patriarchal belief-systems. This range includes:
Men and women who believe that traditional/religious patriarchy is a liberating and empowering framework for gender and family roles. I write about this extensively in my article, Deconstructing the Tradwife Movement: Rethinking Eve as the Hero of Humankind.
Men and women who genuinely believe that Christian patriarchy has been ordained by God, rightfully defines gender roles, and that being a true Christian requires abiding by these views.
Men and women raised and indoctrinated into a patriarchal Christian church and sub-culture, which they don’t oppose within the church and practice selectively or emblematically, but don’t hold misogynistic, sexist or chauvinist views otherwise.
Men and women you are members of a authoritarian and toxic patriarchal church that privileges men and demeans women, but is kept intact through a high-control and fear-based culture.
Men and women who are part of an extreme fundamentalist or cult Christian group who are brainwashed and psychologically manipulated to submit to a environment of sexual misconduct and abuse.
How is Christian patriarchy justified?
Christian patriarchy is based upon a nexus of teachings and doctrines, each of which in my mind are suspect. The primary way Christian patriarchy is justified is by arguing that patriarchy is part of God’s order, as written in the Bible. This position in traditional Christian theology amounts to the deification of the Bible or Bibliolatry.
To accept this position, you’d have to believe the following:
Christian theism
To believe that the social system of patriarchy is God’s way, you’d have to accept classical Christian theism as the right conception of “God”, which states that there is a male supreme being who created the universe and humankind, oversees and manages a divine purpose and plan, and has a detailed blueprint for human civilization, including gender roles.
Biblical inspiration
To believe in biblical patriarchy you’d have to believe in the “inspiration of the Bible”, which is the Christian doctrine that states that the Bible’s content was dictated by God to human authors, making their writings unaffected by their humanness or cultural conditioning, and therefore the words of God himself. By the way, according to classical Christianity, none of the Bible was written by a woman.
Biblical literalism
Biblical literalism is the belief that the Bible should be interpreted and taken literally. The reason this is important is that the first stories in the Bible such as the creation story and the fall of man, cast a shadow upon women, especially if taken literally. Tertullian, considered one of the great early church fathers who influenced Christian theology, wrote about women, “You are the devil’s gateway. How easily you destroyed man, the image of God. Because of the death which you brought upon us, even the Son of God had to die.”
Biblical infallibility
An additional Christian doctrine one must accept to believe in biblical patriarchy is the infallibility of the Bible, namely that the Bible is unerring and lays out God’s flawless design in all matters upon which it touches.
Slavery is okay
The same logic used to build a biblical case for Christian patriarchy, could also be used to claim that slavery was part of God’s perfect plan for humankind. In Ephesians 6:5–8, Apostle Paul states, “Slaves, be obedient to your human masters with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ.” Similar statements regarding obedient slaves can be found in Colossians 3:22–24, 1 Timothy 6:1–2, and Titus 2:9–10.
Lest you think versus like this couldn’t possibly be used to justify slavery, among the Church Fathers, the majority opinion was in favor of the moral permissibility of slavery. According to Augustine, God approved of the flogging of disobedient slaves: “You must use the whip, use it! God allows it. Rather, he is angered if you do not lash the slave. But do it in a loving and not a cruel spirit.”
What you heard in church is right
To believe that the social system of patriarchy is God’s way, you’d have to accept that what your church taught you about this was right. You do realize that not all Christians believe the above teachings and doctrines, right? Even further, there are many theological scholars who refute the traditional interpretations of Bible passages used to justify traditional gender roles and the place of women in the church.
If you are interested in exploring progressive religious thinking and scholarship on gender roles and women in the church, a few resources are:
The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel by Beth Allison Barr
Man's Dominion: The Rise of Religion and the Eclipse of Women's Rights by Sheila Jeffreys
The Woman's Bible: A Classic Feminist Perspective by Elizabeth Cady Stanton
I Suffer Not a Woman by Catherine Clark Kroeger
Beyond the Curse: Women Called to Ministry by Aída Besançon Spencer
Women in a Patriarchal World: Twenty-five Empowering Stories from the Bible by Elaine Storkey
Jesus Was a Feminist: What the Gospels Reveal about His Revolutionary Perspective by Leonard Swidler
What Paul Really Said About Women by John Bristow
The Damage of Toxic Christian Patriarchy
Part of my professional work is training and certifying Spiritual Directors with expertise in religious deconstruction, existential health, and religious trauma. This is one of many reasons why I founded the Center for Non-Religious Spirituality. The cohort group I am currently training includes several women who already have a background in the mental health field and trauma work. I am encouraged by the number of women who are applying their knowledge, training, experience and skills in supporting and guiding women through the process of healing and recovery from toxic religious patriarchy.
Toxic religion is bad for everyone, but toxic religious patriarchy especially damages women. Misogyny is the hatred of, contempt for, diminishment, or prejudice against women or girls. In a toxic religious environment it sounds like this:
"Women should be silent in the church."
"You are an amazing leader! You'd make an excellent pastor's wife someday!"
"You're equal to men in value; you just have a different role. God made you to submit to man's final authority."
"Dress in a way that doesn't cause your brothers in Christ to sin."
"We are starting a new Bible Study. We are learning how to be godly and submissive women."
"Men are visual and struggle with lust. Women are emotional and we need to protect them."
"Always be prepared to have sex with your husband even if you don't want it."
"The head of the woman is the man."
"For man did not come from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for women, but women for man."
"Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord."
Famous 19th Century feminist Elizabeth Cady Stanton wrote:
“The Bible teaches that woman brought sin and death into the world, that she precipitated the fall of the race, that she was arraigned before the judgment seat of Heaven, tried, condemned, and sentenced. Marriage for her was to be a condition of bondage, maternity a period of suffering and anguish, and in silence and subjection, she was to play the role of a dependent on man’s bounty for all her material wants, and for all the information she might desire. Here is the Bible position of woman briefly summed up. The Bible and the Church have been the greatest stumbling blocks in the way of women’s emancipation. The whole tone of church teaching in regard to women is, to the last degree, contemptuous and degrading.”
In my view, there are several religious falsehoods taught about women in a toxic patriarchal church, including:
Women brought sin and death into the world
Women are to blame for the fall of the human race
Women are inferior to men
Women were intended to be subservient to men
Women are incapable of exercising spiritual authority and leadership
A godly woman is a silent, submissive, and domestic woman
Women are responsible for the sexual temptations and transgressions of men
Women are weak, emotional, and irrational
Women are expected by God to stay in demeaning, damaging, destructive, or abusive relationships
Women should deny and repress themselves in order to serve and satisfy others
American feminist and philosopher Mary Daly wrote:
“The biblical and popular image of God as a great patriarch in heaven, rewarding and punishing according to his mysterious and seemingly arbitrary will, has dominated the imagination of millions over thousands of years. The symbol of the Father God, spawned in the human imagination and sustained as plausible by patriarchy, has in turn rendered service to this type of society by making its mechanisms for the oppression of women appear right and fitting. If God in "his" heaven is a father ruling "his" people, then it is in the “nature" of things and according to divine plan and the order of the universe that society be male-dominated.”
I want to personally apologize to women everywhere for how toxic patriarchal religion has been harmful.
Men have also suffered greatly from this toxic patriarchal view. It poisoned man’s relationship with women, and prevented the countless benefits from healthy, mutually regarding and respecting, and synergetic bonds. The whole world has suffered as a consequence for preventing or obstructing women from freely expressing and applying their competencies, gifts, and abilities, including in the church.
Questions for men to wrestle with as they deconstruct their patriarchal religious conditioning might be:
What does being a man mean, once the traditional patriarchal scripts are torn apart?
What would it mean as men to heal our broken mindsets, attitudes, beliefs and relationship with women?
What would it mean to not be threatened by women or competing against women, but to see women as our allies and cultivate mutually empowering relationships?
Where or what is our true source of worth and identity as men?
What would it mean to grieve and heal from the confusion, hurt, dysfunction and loss of how we once did manhood and masculinity?
The Barbie movie touched a nerve. I saw the film, and was deeply impacted by it.
There were some men who were not happy because they felt that the Barbie movie cast a bad light upon them. I personally did not feel this way, but everyone has a right to feel what they feel. But here's the thing, in my view, the movie was about Barbie and by extension, the struggles and hardships around what it really means to be a woman outside the confusing, contradictory and unrealistic expectations of society, particularly male culture.
To investigate this idea further one could read, The Second Sex by Simone de Beauvoir. But I learned it's not all about me... as a man. It’s okay for there to be a Barbie movie, it's okay for women to give voice to their journey and struggle to fully be themselves. Though I didn't feel the film was man-hating, it wasn't the job of the Barbie movie to coddle men and not offend them. If men are this upset by it, go make a Ken movie to tell the story of the difficulties of being a man.
I couldn't watch the Barbie movie as a casual observer. It forced me to own the ways I have been complicit in perpetuating harmful patriarchy. Doing so consciously or unconsciously, the harmful consequences are the same. My religious conditioning programmed me with an untrue, flawed, inadequate, and harmful view of women.
The Barbie movie pressed upon my heart a deep sorrow for any belief, mindset, attitude or action that perpetuated a damaging view of women, or placed unfair limitations and expectations about them. The world (men and women) have suffered greatly as a result of preventing women from actualizing their fullest potentialities and possibilities.
I discovered in the movie that I was completely ignorant about Barbie the doll. The Barbie doll represented all the possibilities of what it could mean to be a woman. As early as 1965 there was an astronaut and space scientist Barbie. Barbie has been a teacher, veterinarian, member of the armed forces, business executive, doctor, police officer, computer engineer, architect, paleontologist, judge, etc. The Barbie doll line has evolved over the years to be culturally diverse, body image diverse, has included women with disabilities, and been inclusive all around.
It was men who sexualized and objectified Barbie. Yes, the original Barbie was trim, shapely, and had long legs. This was partly so the doll could be played with easily - for example, the long legs so that Barbie could be walked around in play. The Barbie creator (Ruth Handler) was not intending for Barbie to be sexualized. Barbie was a frickin doll. Women have breasts and may be shapely in other ways. There's nothing wrong with that. That doesn't mean a shapely woman (or doll) was created to be a sex object. Religion has historically required women to cover up their body so as not to tempt mean. Maybe men instead should address the root issues that cause them to objectify women.
Religious Deconstruction and Women
There are several useful resources that you might find useful for religious deconstruction, especially for woman:
Patriarchy Stress Disorder: The Invisible Inner Barrier to Women's Happiness and Fulfillment by Valerie Rein PhD
Leaving the Fold: A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving Their Religion by Marlene Winell
When Religion Hurts You: Healing from Religious Trauma and the Impact of High-Control Religion by Laura Anderson
No Nonsense Spirituality: All the Tools No Belief Required by Brittney Hartley
Southern Baptists are poised to vote at their annual meeting today and tomorrow on whether to crack down on women in pastoral leadership and whether to condemn the use of in vitro fertilization, setting up a referendum on the role of women in the nation’s largest Protestant denomination and in American society. The Southern Baptist Convention has long been a bellwether for American evangelicalism, with almost 13 million church members across the United States. Its reliably conservative membership makes it a powerful political force.
The SBC is expected to vote on Wednesday on whether to amend its constitution to mandate that Southern Baptist churches must have “only men as any kind of pastor or elder as qualified by Scripture.” The group’s statement of faith already forbids female pastors.
A question that arises in conversations such as this is whether Christian or biblical patriarchy can exist and not be detrimental to women. I’m guessing that those who champion religious patriarchy would say so. One way to consider this question might be if we turned the tables and religion was historically and predominantly, matriarchal. This would include all the ways it might be demeaning and oppressive to men. In this case, the SBC would be meeting to ratify their constitution to assure that no man would ever hold a leadership position in the church.
A third option would be the church neither being patriarchal or matriarchal, but rather humanarchal, with women and men working together in mutual respect and regard as fully equal members.
In Summary
It’s 2024 and the world’s largest Protestant Christian denomination is likely to forbid women from occupying positions of church leadership.
Christian or biblical patriarchy is based upon a nexus of teachings and doctrines that are suspect, but progressive theologians offer legitimate alternative interpretations.
People are free to prefer and choose traditional gender roles for any number of reasons, but toxic or misogynistic religious patriarchy is deeply damaging to women.
What if the Christian church was humanarchal?
“Women belong in all places where decisions are being made. It shouldn't be that women are the exception.”
- Ruth Bader Ginsburg
So poignant in a situation that surprised me recently. A friend called crying (literally) that her granddaughters baptism had been ruined and would have walked out if she felt she could have because….a woman was officiating. I dug up what sympathetic words I could, all the while thinking, seriously? Anyway this is such a deep article on many levels and I do not know where we go from here. It’s not easy to be a woman with a mind full of questions and doubts in the Christian community. Which is why I am no longer there. Thank you for the time you take with us
Sigh. This and germ theory broke my heart of the hope of a good god and the truth of Christianity. I lament the level of suffering produced by patriarchy and despise it is still thriving today.